Emily Ley

Joy, Simplicity and What Matters Most

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June 21, 2017

Wellness, Part 1 – the “Vice Detox”

As you may have heard me mention before, I was diagnosed with both Hashimotos Thyroiditis and Graves disease late last year. Both are auto-immune diseases affecting the thyroid. It’s quite rare to have both of these (as they’re actually competing issues), but here I am. Nearly 30 million Americans have thyroid disease and a whopping 60% of these people DON’T KNOW IT. God put it on my heart to share this wellness journey and, while I’ve shared a few blog posts (here) and posted a few silly boomerangs to Instagram of my workouts, I haven’t really taken you deep into this thing with me like I’d like to. The journey to the place of “unwell” was long and the journey to “well” is proving to be equally long. But the benefits and improvements I’ve seen by making smart choices, simplifying my life, and committing grace not perfection have been incredible and somewhat quick. I’m going to start this little blog series by telling you about how I ended up here. Let this be a cautionary tale to all of you women (thyroid disease affects MANY more women than men) running yourselves into the ground.

I started my business in 2008 and dove right in. I loved it so much I devoted every waking moment to it. It grew and grew. Then, in 2011, I had my first son. I loved him so much, I devoted every waking moment to him. The business continued to grow and afforded me the opportunity to be a work-from-home-mom. Then, after multiple rounds of fertility treatments, I gave birth to our twins in 2015. I loved them so much, I devoted every waking moment to them. The business grew. Brady grew. The twins grew. I wrote my first book, was featured in Forbes magazine, travelled all over the country speaking, exhibiting, selling our products.

Crash. Burn.

All good things. But ALL. THE. THINGS. See, when you devote every waking moment of your time to everything you love, you don’t have any waking moments left to take care of yourself. Skipping meals was normal. Fueling myself on coffee every morning was normal. Then coming off the stress of the day with a (BIG) handful of goldfish and a glass of wine at night. Up down. Up down. My list of physical ailments grew and grew. My eyes were dry (blamed it on the computer). My hair was falling out (blamed it on the pregnancies). I was so tired by 2pm every day (blamed it on just being “busy”). My doctor’s didn’t think anything was up, so I ordered an at-home Thyroid test from EverlyWell (save 10% with this affiliate link). Sure enough, my TSH was extremely low (a sign of Hyperthyroidism). So, I took those results to my doctor. She told me to wait three months and we’d test it again. It was low that next time too. And the time after that it was high (but almost within range). Just recently, it was very low again.

I’ve read about a zillion books about thyroid disease over the past few months, but what I’ve realized is that it isn’t really about my thyroid as much as its about my overall health. I’m 5’5″ and weigh 128lbs. By normal standards, I’m “healthy.” I’ve never really committed to exercise because I didn’t think I really needed to. I didn’t “feel hungry” all the time, so I didn’t eat a ton. It wasn’t until I met my endocrinologist that I realized how seriously I’d been neglecting myself. Now, here is what Dr. Izabella Wentz says about auto-immune diseases. You have to have 3 things happen to end up with one (and if you have one, you’re at risk for more):

  1. genetic predisposition (runs in my family)
  2. environmental factors (STRESS)
  3. gut permeability (food issues)

If you remove one of those things, you can put it into remission. Since I can’t do anything about #1, I’m focusing on #2 and #3.

So, here we are, almost one year since my first appointment. I know how great it feels to be right in line with where I need to be and I can feel when my body is off-kilter. Recently, I read Phoebe Lapine’s new book The Wellness Project. It’s a really great experience / science based book about her year of wellness. Each month, she tackled a different area of wellness to get her body feeling good again. Her first was (what seemed to me like) the hardest challenge: what she called her “Vice Detox.” She cut coffee, sugar, and alcohol. Even typing those, my body is saying NOOOOOOOO. Now, listen, I’ve done Whole 30 (and gluten free, and paleo, and blah blah blah) before. But YOU DON’T HAVE TO GIVE UP COFFEE with that. Still, I keep coming back to this idea of a vice detox. And I’m gonna do it. BUT, I’m allowing myself one measly cup of coffee in the morning (ahem, three children). Started this morning. :) Wish me luck.

I’ll be sharing my thoughts on my own wellness journey here on the blog whenever I have time to write (currently editing Book 2, working on a big secret project, and working on a study guide for Grace Not Perfection) in terms of exercise, food, self-care, simplifying, etc. Here are a few favorite reads if you’re looking to learn more about thyroid disease and / or general wellness.

 

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April 11, 2017

Coffee Break: When Entrepreneurship Becomes Unhealthy

Beginning around 2008 / 2009, the number of female entrepreneurs in the world exploded. I don’t pull that data from anywhere formal, just from what I noticed in my own friend-groups and online. The internet had a lot to do with that, making the barrier to entry much lower (and less expensive) than in the past. Women everywhere started pursuing their dreams of business-ownership (through their own platforms or through direct-sales companies like R&F, Jamberry, etc). We dove in head first – many (if not most) of us pursuing one common, sacred thing: freedom. We wanted freedom from the rigors of the corporate American work-week (for many of us so we could have more time to spend with our little ones), financial freedom to breathe a little easier budget-wise, and something to call our own. I italicize that last one because – while all three points are important – that last one pertained to women of ALL types – those with jobs outside the home and those without jobs outside the home.

I jumped in with both feet in 2008 and never looked back – until my own entrepreneurialism became unhealthy. “Getting ahead” (or even staying ahead / organized / successful / inbox-0 / whatever) became just as (if not, at times, MORE) important than what I remember being prioritized by my own mom: having quiet talks in the car on the way to ballet, lingering prayer-time / book-time before bed, and everything else that was sweet and slow.

Slow became, for many of us, something we didn’t identify with anymore. Entrepreneurialism wasn’t the only thing that did this to us, of course, (I’m looking at you social media, more demanding corporate jobs, etc), but it sure fanned the flame of FAST. In 2015/16, I started to “look back,” pulling both feet out of the water (the rapidly racing current, mind you). Perhaps it was my own age (33/34) or perhaps it was my growing family, or perhaps it was straight up burnout (very real), but the pace of it all became too much. Oh my heart… am I glad the pace became too much. Am I glad I hit that wall. That wall changed my life . And I found myself backing up, forcibly pushing *everything* except what mattered most to me to the back seat, and rewriting my life -> more so, rewriting what my days looked like. For years, I’d said (while working in corporate America especially) who SAYS I should have to sit in this seat from 8-5, who SAYS business should have to be done this way, who SAYS we should wear / act / do this certain thing. And I found myself, at the helm of my own little enterprise, saying who SAYS I have to work 60-80 hours a week, who SAYS I shouldn’t go to the gym a few times a week DURING NORMAL WORK HOURS (gasp!), who SAYS business should be done this way (sound familiar…)

You see where I’m going here. Full circle. Entrepreneurialism can be unhealthy. It can also be an incredible gift to a family, like it has been to ours. This little note is to encourage all you boss-ladies, girl-bosses, mompreneurs, or whatever other fancy word we’re using these days – to take a few minutes today to evaluate your ambition, your drive, and your passion. Are your priorities in line? Is your heart in the right place? Is your health and your family’s health in the right place (emotionally, spiritually, and physically)? Have you thought about how much your company / endeavors / calling / ministry will flourish with your attention on the right things (this is VERY real and something I’ve experienced tenfold this year)? Is it time to turn your ambition, drive, and passion inward? Inside the walls of your home and inside the walls of your heart? Maybe not. Maybe so. And if it is, I’m walking that path with you, sister. It’s the most personal freedom I’ve ever felt in my life and it makes me so proud of what I’m giving my family — the best of me.

xo,

Em

PS: image by Gina Zeidler

PPS: read more from my Coffee Break series here.

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March 29, 2017

Coffee Break: On Wellness

This is a topic I could write on forever, especially at this point in my life, so … expect many Coffee Break posts on this as the year unfolds. It’s also a journey I’m currently traveling and not anything I’ve arrived at, but I’m excited to share openly about my experiences as they happen. I think this is something we’re not talking about enough.

Wellness. What does it mean to be truly well. I’m finding out now. But what I know for sure is what wellness is not. Wellness is not putting yourself last. Wellness is not the inability to sleep at night. Wellness is not feeling weak or tired all the time. Wellness is not wishing you had more energy all the time. Wellness is not feeding yourself comfort snacks after the kids go to bed to soothe your emotions. Wellness is not working 80 hours a week. Wellness is not overcommitting, burning out, and ending up spent (only to take care of yourself for a little while to restart the cycle…)

And what I’ve learned since January, when I closed a giant part of our business, uncommitted, and started undoing eight years of burning the candle at both ends is that being well feels so much better. It means feeling strong when you’re running up the stairs to get your toddlers up in the morning. It means waking up easily at 6am to start the day. It means fueling your body with foods that are refreshing and not taxing. It means resting, relaxing, and indulging with zero guilty feelings. It means contentment and committing to a continual journey of being your best self at the same time. Chew on that for a minute. Contentment and continually taking care of yourself. More water. More sleep. More coffee dates with friends. Working out almost daily (I started working out with a trainer who’s worked with some of my friends and LOVE IT. I’ve never weight trained in my life. Strong feels so much better than skinny). Reading more fiction books. Loosening my control grip on our day to day. Scheduling weekly <- WHAT! > date nights with my husband (thanks for the inspiration Shay). Eating foods that fuel me.

This post is rambly and I’m also okay with that. :) Giving myself the permission to stop, make massive changes, and start completely over has changed my life in the best way possible. Have questions? Ask away over on Insta. I’ll write more on this soon. :)

 

 

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March 22, 2017

Coffee Break: 20 Favorite Fiction Books

Hey friends! I turned a corner on January 1 of this year – making myself a priority in many ways to take better care of my health – mentally, physically, and spiritually. I’ll share more on this topic later, but one of the best ways I’ve taken care of myself is to give myself brain breaks. In 2016, I read a lot of self-help style books, lots of non-fiction, and (obviously) wrote a lot on my own. I fell in love with Audible (this is not a sponsored post, I just really love Audible) and started listening to books while working out, while driving, and before falling asleep at night. Listening to fiction books gives my brain a total escape from work, life, and the craziness that comes with having three little ones. I love these books because they have absolutely nothing to do with business, planners, toddlers, laundry, or the other things that fill my brain during the day. I think they’re also great because my brain doesn’t hop around from topic to topic like it does when I “unwind” (<- this is not actually a thing) by looking at Instagram on my phone while trying to fall asleep (bad idea, don’t do it). So here they are – my favorites and some that are “on my list” to read! I’d love your suggestions over on Instagram too! I really love mysteries : )

  1. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty – recent favorites and fave I’ve read this year!
  2. The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware – mystery and super crazy, but fun
  3. The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty – love this author a lot, reading this now
  4. Behind Her Eyes by Sarah Pinborough – the WEIRDEST ENDING EVER. Warning.
  5. The Couple Next Door by Shari Lapena – great book, figured out the ending halfway through
  6. What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty – next up on my list. I love Liane Moriarty
  7. The Weekenders: a Novel by Mary Kay Andrews – on my list to read, heard its great
  8. Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee – on my list to read
  9. Girl on a Train by Paula Hawkins – loved this so much, movie is great too
  10. Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell – a great friend recommended this one to me
  11. Where’d You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple – super great read
  12. All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr – on my list
  13. The Royal We by Heather Cocks & Jessica Morgan – on my list
  14. The Chemist by Stephanie Meyer – on my list
  15. The Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney – I’ve started this one but haven’t finished it quite yet
  16. We Could be Beautiful by Swan Huntley – my literary agent recommended this one
  17. Rules of Civility by Amor Towles – on my list and supposedly great!
  18. Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline – on my list
  19. The Good Girl by Mary Kubica – on my list
  20. Every 15 Minutes by Lisa Scottoline – on my list

Enjoy!

Em

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